“Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you.” Arab proverb

There is a taboo in the workplace. I call it ‘alright-ism’. We seem unable or unwilling to acknowledge and take control of experiences at work that sap our confidence, lower our self-esteem and batter our resilience. Things can be really going pear-shaped, and we still feel obliged to say ‘it’s alright’ because to say anything else feels like failure, and failure is too painful to admit. Not only that, we fear the response of those around us, who may get nervous or condemn our faintheartedness. So we deny the pain and carry on. I think it’s time to break the taboo.

When your confidence and self-esteem disappear, fear, anger, distress and other negative emotions come into play. These in turn distort the way you see the world, and your responses to it. You may find it hard to trust anyone around you. The innocent remarks and everyday actions of other people take on a sinister appearance. You wake with anxiety in your heart, and it grows during the day. You are forever, metaphorically, looking over your shoulder. You may worry about taking any time off, even leave to which you’re entitled, for fear of what may be waiting for you when you go back. The problem can overshadow your every waking hour.

There is growing evidence that negative emotions seriously hamper your effectiveness. That on which you dwell grows stronger. If you focus on the negative, you increase its power over you. You also project this negative energy all the time, within yourself and to those around you. Without necessarily being aware of it, people feel dragged down by negativity, and may take steps to avoid being sucked into it. Friends begin to distance themselves, leaving their space to others who prefer to fuel your negative energy.

If you are being bullied, your bully can unconsciously pick up the fear and anxiety you project when they are around you. This increases their sense of power to harm you. If you are worried about a situation, your worry can seriously hamper your ability to deal effectively with it. If you lack confidence, your timidity prevents you from facing and taking charge of your situation.

As a coach I have come across many bright, capable people who go through a distressing experience at work and do not share with anyone either the problem or the havoc it creates in their minds. They feel isolated and hugely distressed. If you have experienced such distress, Recover Your Balance is written for you.

If your confidence is compromised by what is going on in your working life, you can do something about it, and you can emerge stronger. You may not be able to change the circumstances, but you can choose how you respond to them.

Recover Your Balance encourages you back towards self-belief, confidence and the positive emotions that will fuel a full recovery and literally help you ‘recover your balance’. You will understand what is going wrong, and get really clear about what you want from the situation and from your life. And you can start taking action right now to recover your self-belief and effectiveness. I will show you how.
(From the introduction to Recover Your Balance – how to bounce back from bad times at work by Ann Lewis.)

Find out more

Listen to Ann Lewis talking about Recover Your Balance with US radio show host Kat Tansey (about an hour), and with Ian Mac on Vectis Radio (about 30 minutes).